Wednesday, May 26, 2010


And so I finally reach the Acceptance stage of my 7 month-running Stages of Grief. Granted that I did take a detour and totally left out the Bargaining stage and took Depression by a mere few hours. I stayed the longest in the Anger stage though. I love getting all worked up. It's defense and coping mechanism for me. No, it's not temporary insanity. I've always been angry. Lol!
So how did I finally dump that stage and waddle aimlessly into Acceptance? As tired and as cliche as it sounds, it was an Epiphany. It was a logical deduction of facts and occurrences that lead me to it, but I'm not hiding the fact that I do give full credit to the Big Guy for all of it falling into place.

It was the first summer that I've ever been a WFHM ('work-from-home mom', coined the ex-rabid career witch).

It was the first summer that my boys didn't need to take catch-up classes in school (in fact, they were both accelerated! Yeah!).

It was also the first summer when I poured all my energies into planning their summer camps. (Usually --at the time when I was, er, busier-- I just dump them in their schools where their summer classes had arts and crafts activities included in the package. Bad mom. Bad!)

It was the first summer when we didn't have the resources to buy new toys, toys, and more toys to keep the boys occupied all throughout the vacation. (Again, bad mom! Bad!)

The result: more family bonding time.

More mommy-involvement at daytime when I needed to kiss a knee booboo my little one got from football... or when my bigger boy had to proudly show me every single robot he's built and programmed for destructive purposes at camp.

More movie and popcorn nights.

More hugs that were long and tight as opposed to the rushed 'gotta go or I'll be late for a meeting, hun!' hugs.

More talk. And I mean MOOOORE talk, which typically meant the boys yapping away as I listened with undivided, 'no checking the phone for business calls' attention.

Evidently, if there's any purpose to this sudden change in my life, it's this. It's experiencing a totally different connection with my boys that I never had in 8 years. What I used to call a crappy speed bump in my life is actually a blessing, a gift --and you don't complain about a FIRST like that.

When you think about it, God really knew what He was doing.
It would've helped if He'd sent me a manual of his Plan though so I wouldn't have been kept guessing. Lmao!

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