Transformers Age of Extinction: FTW and WTF

One word to describe Transformers: Age of Exrinction: LONG.
Personally, the editing didn't do it for me. I'm not a huge fan of storytelling done in chunks. It makes me forget what happened in the other subplot until we get back to it so many minutes later. That's just me. I need a more exciting back-to-back kind of storytelling.

But that intro was totally unfair of me. There ARE undeniable goodies in this movie as well. So allow me to do this properly and lay it down for you in FTWs and WTFs.

FTW!

THE PREMISE IS GOLD! Human dissing the alien robots who have protected their helpless organic asses for 3 movies now. That premise is so realistic, so selfish, so human.

GOOD INVENTOR VS. BAD INVENTOR. Goody-two-shoes Yeager had the biceps, but evil-man-who-grows-a-conscience Joshua had the humour. We like him.

THE ACTION WAS SOLID! I've always liked how these gargantuan robots battle it out in the city. I love how they crush buildings and cars. BAM! BOOM! POW!

BUMBLEBEE'S A TEENAGER. I like the attitude they've given Bumblebee this time around. He was hotheaded, rebellious, cool. He wasn't Witwicky's pet puppy.

GALVATRON! He's Megatron ver. 2. I thought that was awesome. Specially that part where he spewed a one-liner during battle when the humans never programmed him to. In your face, scientists!


WTF!

MEDIEVAL MAKEOVER. Optimus Prime had one. So he'd look better when he lifts the sword. Yeah. But we do like his emotional makeover! He was vengeful when betrayed. Which is again, a very real reaction. Dude, he shot and killed a man! Woot!

ROBOT FACE. The new robots Lockdown, Crosshairs, and Drift have faces. Like real, human, almost expressive faces… in metal. It's creepy. Hound even had a beard, and smoked a cigar. Creepy.

THAT EDITING THING. (please see above)

DINO-DUPED. Okay, this is my biggest beef. The poster, the trailer, the banners gave us the promise of Dinobots. Being as old as the original Transformers animation itself, this is huge for me. So when Grimlock and the gang came in 2 hours into the movie and had only 15 minutes of screen time, I was seriously, SERIOUSLY heartbroken.
And, geez, Prime! You do not ride Grimlock! Metal against metal… UGH! THE CHAFING!

Oh, and there's also the new LONG-LEGGED LEADING LADY who can 'grab my stick' because 'she has the best hands in the business'. Ay caramba! Your choice if she's a FTW or a WTF. Our house is divided.

That said, this is still an entertaining ride and I do recommend you hit it on 3D. It's insane how Transformers: Age of Extinction roadblocked all the cinemas in the metro! So if you miss it, that will be… just weird.

A Little Lesson on Movie Translation

Transformers:  Rise of the Fallen is playing on HBO again.

And while this goes on and on for a week, it has become clear to me that the epitome of cool alien robot design would be Ravage.  He's a one-eyed jaguar!  With rocket launcher and machine gun attachments at the hips!  What can possibly beat that???

Even in the Transformers animation series, Ravage has caught my eye (get it?  get it? :P).  He's the only Decepticon that doesn't talk.  The quiet, deadly type.  Matches my choice profile in men.  LOL!  But the movie translation and redesign turned out to be way cooler than the TV series' Ravage.  The movie Ravage is just... ravaging, for lack of a better word.  Svelte Sinister Supermodel comes to mind, too.

My alien robot coolness first choice would've been Starscream --after all, he has always been my first love from the very start of the Transformers franchise on the tube.  He has the attitude, the sneaky, underhanded persona.  This time, matching my profile of myself.  Ugh.  The cartoon Starscream wasn't exactly eye candy.  He looked just like a regular robot that has the obvious potential to transform into a jet fighter.  But the Starscream movie translation is just ...well, messed up.  Look at it!  It's Hellraiser sick!

Megatron matches this spiky, monochromatic monstrosity in design as well.  I know it's their alien form.  But Jesus, they had the power to replicate any form of machinery when they landed on the planet.  Couldn't they have done that first before aiming at world supremacy?!!

Anyhooo... rant over.  Movie translations will always have hits and misses.  Mostly misses, specially in the eyes of original TV series afficionados.  But Ravage ...that mother is pure movie translation win!