Thomas the Train Wreck

I've been carrying this load for a long time. So now, it's rant season.

I think Thomas and Friends is a load of fat crap!

It's marketed for toddlers, but exactly what does it teach during a child's formative years? That you should be insecure and constantly fight for your right to be 'a very useful engine'??? That kind of theme has child labor brainwashing written all over it.

Why should a child be exposed to tank engines bickering and cheating and grandstanding and lying all for the sake of earning the satisfaction of a porky boss aptly named 'The Fat Controller'?
Some smart ass is going to say that the underlying theme here is obedience. That Thomas and Friends shapes children to be respectful to their parents and submissive to their every whim.

Well, count me out! I'm probably a horrible parent for not asking my kids to go and fetch me stuff from here and there. In fact, I must be a downright horrid mother for not pitting my sons against one another. I mean, that's what I see in Thomas and Friends every episode --sibling rivalry. A little competition is fine as long as its constructive. But every goddamn day on the freaking Island of Sodor???!!!Ok, I may be overthinking again. That's how I am. But if it's values I want to get out of a toddler-skewed TV show --and I say his while holding in a massive upchuck of hyperacidic puke-- I'd rather stick with Barney.