Am I the only one who's slightly creeped out by Hasbro's brilliant Christmas gift idea: the Baby Alive Doll series?
I'm not one to slink away from disturbing play things. I do have the Jane-in-the-Box bride of Chuckie doll after all. But Baby Alive is different. It's the kind that comes off as something innocent ... and then, when you least expect it... it shocks you to pants-peeing heights! It's kinda like Damien of The Omen. Evil lurking beneath those angelic eyes.
Overdrama aside, Hasbro says that the Baby Alive dolls are meant to teach young girls how to be responsible and caring with absolute realism. True. I get that. Nothing teaches quite like an actual experience. But if I'm ever left alone in a room with these dollies, I swear, I will get a heart attack!
Baby Alive Baby All Gone is deemed the crowd favorite. She comes with baby food which your child will have to mix with water and then feed the 'baby' with. And a sippy cup which your child will really have to fill with water and have the 'baby' drink from. Now don't forget to keep the 'baby' in a diaper --because she WILL pee and poo after. Really! And you don't want the mess, do you?
Baby Alive Better Now Baby is the perfect Let's Play Doctor companion. Because the 'baby' really gets sick. Your child will have to take her temperature, and listen to her heart with a stethoscope. Uh-huh, the doll really HAS a heartbeat --EGAD! Now, your child can give the 'baby' her medicine. Don't forget the diaper though. This doll pushes out everything she takes in.
Baby Alive Bouncing Babbles is by far the freakiest of the bunch. This 'baby' will bounce on her legs while your child holds her hands. And, with the technological ingenuity of actual mouth movement, she will --and by God, she will-- move her lips as she coos and calls your child 'Mama'. THIS is the true-to-life Chuckie doll! All it needs is a knife and it will bounce all the way to your bedside!
Baby Alive is a novel idea in doll love. Seriously. And I'm not holding back my two-thumbs up because of that work of genius. I'm pretty sure daughters everywhere will want one Baby Alive this Christmas and Hasbro will make a killing in sales.
But if it were up to me, I would've taken this doll on an elaborate 2-and-half-month launch --crossing Halloween and Christmas!
Hey, I just stumbled upon your blog and I had to throw in my two cents about this article because I totally agree with you. I have always been fascinated with dolls ever since I was a kid but when I saw Baby Alive my first thought was..."Hasbro, you should not make dolls."
ReplyDeleteThose things are freaky. I have no idea why my litter sister adores them so much except maybe the fact that they look like a freaky anime cartoon character. Weird things entertain her like that Barbie with the dog that poops.
I understand they want to teach little girls about babies but I would personally prefer to teach them with ones that resemble babies.
On a slightly off topic note have you ever heard of reborns?